Thursday. The end to a pseudo five day weekend. I say “pseudo” because even though I didn’t have to work, I did have a lot of responsibility while my wife underwent minor surgery (she’s fine, thank you). The reason that Thursday is a significant is because I swore that the previous Sunday was to be the beginning of my full on, unapologetic, bull in a China shop pursuit of chasing after God’s heart and will for my life. But today is Thursday. I haven’t even begun. Again.
I’m not a fan of procrastination, yet I appear to be somewhat of an expert in its practice. I do desire God with all my heart and strength, but my bastard of a soul contends with my desire and I find myself utterly distracted by things that truly have no hold on me. Today, I was going to sit down and play a little poker while the babies were asleep, when I was reminded of the dusty cover of my unread bible, and I was convicted. Inspired that today may well be as good a day to start as any other, I became quickly overwhelmed by the enormity of all the life changes I need to make. I need to lose weight. Bad. I need to be a more tidy person both personally and around the house. I need to really work on introducing my child to God in a more tangible way than just once a week, and praying over over him while he sleeps.
Proverbs 1:23 tells us to “Turn to my reproof. Behold, I will pour my Spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.” And this is my prayer. That I am reproved by God. That He show mercy to me while in my iniquities, but gently, but firmly guide me back to the course of pursuing Him above all others. Is He not more worthy than this? Lord, let my actions mirror my beliefs.
Somewhere along the way, perhaps I will become a better husband and father in such worthy pursuit.
